Human Resources Management program instructors Dari DeSousa and Dawn Myers have just published their new book, HR After Dark, Volume 1: Stories You Were Never Supposed to Hear and the Lessons Learned.
The two co-authors are esteemed HR professionals and instructors for SDSU Online’s Human Resources Management certificate program, teaching HR for over a decade. Over the course of 16 months of deliberation, writing, and sharing their stories and what they have learned over a multi-decade-long career, their new book was born.
Their book teaches important lessons drawn from the unbelievable real-life scenarios of five HR consultants’ extensive careers that professionals can utilize to become leaders across any industry.
We asked the writers about their experience creating the book, inspirations, and advice for other professionals in HR.
1) What inspired you to write this book?
Dari: Every HR leader we know will encounter one of those “sticky” situations in the workplace and say, “Oh, this is going in my book,” or “I seriously need to write a book one day”. This is that book. In October 2024, Dawn and I, with three other HR colleagues, started discussing “what if we did write that book”?! We didn’t want it to be just story time; we wanted it to also be a people leader guide. If this story happened to us, what did we learn from it, and how can you (the reader) put action steps into place so you can avoid our story altogether?
2) How do the real stories shared in the book give HR professionals a new understanding of how they might approach conflict in the workplace?
Dari: In business, if there is a mistake, analyzing how it happened, why it happened and finding a training or process change that can prevent it from happening again is pretty standard. These stories have a variety of themes that are regular occurrences in the workplace. Our goal is to help the reader experience the cringe of the story and then use the action steps that are found in each chapter to audit their own workplace preventatively. Additionally, these stories and lessons are great training case studies. As an example, we have one Director of HR who bought the book for his entire HR team at 3 locations. They are reading one chapter at a time as a group and then spending time diving into “what if that happened here” – what would they do and what practice can they put in place to prevent the issue. This can also be personal people leader growth. In some of these stories, they may see themselves and, with reflection, make style and action changes.
3) What do you think the world of HR will look like in the next decade?
Dari: I think there are two lenses to look through. One, compliance continues to be essential; each year, there are new laws that employers have to respond to or face significant penalties and fines. HR has to stay on top of compliance, especially in states like California, New York, Massachusetts, Hawaii, Illinois, and others that are very employee-centric. Two, the new generations coming into the workforce want a different workplace experience. They want it to be meaningful, they want real work-life balance, and they are perfectly ok with only working at a company for a short amount of time. HR needs to flex workplace practices, the employee experience and longevity expectations to a new norm to meet this generation of workers where they are.
Dawn: That’s exactly why I created and now teach CYASquared™(Cover Your A$$ and Care for Your Associates). HR has the delicate job of holding compliance and culture at the same time. It’s far more complex than most people realize. That’s also why these stories matter; they are messy, decisions aren’t clean, outcomes aren’t obvious, and leadership isn’t easily navigated.
4) What did you learn from collaborating with and learning about the other HR leaders’ experiences?
Dari: So, so much. We all had zero experience writing, self-editing, and self-publishing a book. We are also HR people, not marketing people, so the grassroots efforts are all new experiences for us. We found that we thrived supporting each other, working through the stories to be compelling stories, we wanted the reader right there with us, feeling the gut punch. We also collaborated on the action items, pulling from all of our experiences. Many times, HR leaders just go, go, go; they are a powerhouse of one. This really relied on us to work together, help pull each other through our own business and life challenges to get this across the finish line. Each one of us does full-time work in addition to the book, so really carving out the time to do focused writing or editing was a regular challenge. We were great at lifting each other up along the way.
5) How does your book give readers a leadership lesson with each shared story that they can’t learn in a textbook?
Dari: The reader could look at these as case studies, which they can find in a textbook. We feel the difference is the realness of the stories, the honesty of the lesson learned, even when we should have done better, and the realness of the action steps. These aren’t theories; they are what we did in real life. We also kept each story and lesson direct and to the point. Sometimes nuggets of learning are all you may have time for, and this fits in that space easily.
6) What was your biggest takeaway after writing the book?
Dari: On some level, there is the doubt of “can we do this?”, and yes, yes, we can and did. It was a good lesson in project management as well. October 2024 – this seemed so huge an undertaking, so many action items to accomplish. Really mapping it out, with easy-to-get-to milestones, made it less overwhelming. And keep having fun, this was never “not fun”, we had a lot of laughs along the way and really enjoyed the journey.
7) What advice do you have for early-career HR professionals looking to advance to leadership roles?
Dari: Learn as much as you can about everything, don’t wait for someone to give you a learning plan, create your own. Step outside the scope of your role and ask for stretch projects. And if you ever get the opportunity to do something at a higher level than you are at now, take it, even if it makes you uncomfortable. My biggest professional growth has occurred when I was doing work that was a serious stretch, or I was deeply uncomfortable. Even if your organization can’t fund specific trainings or certifications, there are so many free or near-free things out there; go and grab them.
Dawn: Stay curious and be courageous. Step out. Step up. And remember, you are not alone. That’s part of why we wrote this book. Leadership is not black and white. It’s complex. It’s not always clear-cut. And it’s always better when you have a strong network to work through it with. That’s what we built as authors, and what we hope readers feel when they open the book. Because it’s not always what you know. It’s who you know, and who can call when you’re deep in the gray.
